More from Alina Kanaski

by Upper Room Editorial on Wednesday, May 10, 2017

As soon as I heard that my devotion was accepted by The Upper Room, I was excited about this blog post–I knew exactly what I was going to write! I had it all planned out, and it was going to be wonderful.

And then I sat down to write it, and I couldn’t–because the happy, problem-free post I wanted to write wasn’t true.

I wrote my devotion about my mom, about everything she’s done for me and how grateful I am. I wrote it a long time ago, though. It’s been a few years, and in that time I’ve finally realized that my mom isn’t perfect. I guess I’ve known that for years, but I’ve really begun to understand that my mom isn’t perfect. If you’re worried–my mom is a really great mom. She loved me so much. We spent so much time together when I was a kid wading through streams looking for cool bugs, cutting things up or gluing them together for craft projects, working on homework (she sometimes had to talk me off the there's-so-much-I-can't-do-it ledge), listening to me, and giving me advice. I’m really lucky and blessed and loved.

I’ve just finally realized my mom isn’t perfect.

Not that I’ve been perfect either. I’ve had my fair share of careless words, forgetting to call when I’d promised I would, and taking my mom for granted. I’m sure I’ve also hurt her in ways that I didn’t even realize.

I guess I’ve just held on to this childhood idea of my mom as perfect and all-knowing. She always knew what to do, and she was never afraid or confused or unsure. It isn’t comfortable to realize that’s not true. It isn’t easy. And in some ways I don’t really know what to do with this realization. I’m not sure how to remember that my mom is also human.

We’ve been talking about it. I’ve been sending her cards sometimes; we’ve been sending each other interesting articles. It’s not perfect; but then, neither of us is perfect, either. And she is pretty awesome.

- Alina Kanaski

9 Comments

Comment by Elizabeth

Dear Alina, thanks for reminding us that God is the perfect parent. I think it is very difficult to cope with the fact that our relationship with our parents changes as we get older. When we are small they seem perfect but we see things differently as we grow up. Then comes the time when we have to care for them and be more like the parent ourselves. My mother is dependent on my sister and myself and we find her far from easy. Sometimes we wonder how life got so complicated. When she and my father were first ill, and he died, I felt bereft, and I found Ps 27:10 to be a great comfort. You made me think of that again this morning. God bless you.

Posted May 10, 2017 at 01:18AM CDT
Comment by patricia of laurelton, NY

What a wonderful tribute for your mom, Alina. Yes, she is not perfect, but her imperfection was perfect. Thank you for sharing.

Posted May 10, 2017 at 01:48AM CDT
Comment by Georgine

Thank you Alina for the thoughts about your mother. It is difficult for us to see our mothers as a person in their own right.

Georgine,Arqua Petrarca, Italy

Posted May 10, 2017 at 03:56AM CDT
Comment by Tom of Canal Winchester, OH

Your struggle to think back to the good that your mom did for you in the light of what you've come to realize about her 'imperfections' brings up memories of my own mother. When she got to the point of having to go into a nursing home I thought that was the best for her as she needed care that I couldn't give her. As she mentally had regressed along with her physical needs it was heartbreaking to think of how her life had come to this. But all I could see when I would go in to feed her and tell her how my day was going or wheel her outside so she could see the sunshine was that 'person' who now needed my love. I was becoming more conscious of other's needs for understanding and respect through this, so even in her declining state she still was giving me a treasure I would not have otherwise.
You were 'right on' Alina, in your devotional writing, when God needed co-workers here on earth He sent us Mothers. Blessings on you as you cherish the love shown by your mother.

Posted May 10, 2017 at 04:01AM CDT
Comment by Matt

Alina Kanaski, maybe that is a little bit of God our Father shining through (forgetting past offenses) in us when we hold someone so important as our mother up in such high regard. I am a outdoorsman, as is my Dad but my Mom took me squirrel hunting for the first time & I will never forget that. Silly huh?

Posted May 10, 2017 at 04:14AM CDT
Comment by Edd of Ocala, FL

Dear Alina, non of us is perfect and the realization is we will never reach perfection, but God still loves us just the way we are. God is Love for All!!!

Posted May 10, 2017 at 04:59AM CDT
Comment by German of Quito, ECU, CA

Hi Alina. My mom told me that she regrets that she left alone us too much time while she runned her chicken meat store. I told her that I don't blame her. We always liked her when she was back home because she showed us her love in each word and act. My best remembrance of her is she doing her duties at home always singing beautiful hymns. God the mother?, yes! Thanks for giving us that perspective.

Posted May 10, 2017 at 05:35AM CDT
Comment by Jay of Clearwater, FL

For years I've thought the Holy Spirit is female in gender. My mother was geat giver. She was talented, extremely energetic, caring and wise. She too was perfect enough for me. In the end she struggled with Alzheimers but never gave up. Way to go Mom ! You were the best ! Thanks Alina, may our mothers be our Holy Spirit always. Remembering Mom in Spirit, She loves us.
O'Jay....inspired by Her Holy Spirit

Posted May 10, 2017 at 06:31AM CDT
Comment by Donnie of Royston, GA

Thank you so much, Alina, for your meaningful words and your wonderful honesty. Life is always about adjustment and growth, and our concept of who our parents are and our relationship with them are no exceptions.

Posted May 10, 2017 at 09:20AM CDT