More from Alina Kanaski
As soon as I heard that my devotion was accepted by The Upper Room, I was excited about this blog post–I knew exactly what I was going to write! I had it all planned out, and it was going to be wonderful.
And then I sat down to write it, and I couldn’t–because the happy, problem-free post I wanted to write wasn’t true.
I wrote my devotion about my mom, about everything she’s done for me and how grateful I am. I wrote it a long time ago, though. It’s been a few years, and in that time I’ve finally realized that my mom isn’t perfect. I guess I’ve known that for years, but I’ve really begun to understand that my mom isn’t perfect. If you’re worried–my mom is a really great mom. She loved me so much. We spent so much time together when I was a kid wading through streams looking for cool bugs, cutting things up or gluing them together for craft projects, working on homework (she sometimes had to talk me off the there's-so-much-I-can't-do-it ledge), listening to me, and giving me advice. I’m really lucky and blessed and loved.
I’ve just finally realized my mom isn’t perfect.
Not that I’ve been perfect either. I’ve had my fair share of careless words, forgetting to call when I’d promised I would, and taking my mom for granted. I’m sure I’ve also hurt her in ways that I didn’t even realize.
I guess I’ve just held on to this childhood idea of my mom as perfect and all-knowing. She always knew what to do, and she was never afraid or confused or unsure. It isn’t comfortable to realize that’s not true. It isn’t easy. And in some ways I don’t really know what to do with this realization. I’m not sure how to remember that my mom is also human.
We’ve been talking about it. I’ve been sending her cards sometimes; we’ve been sending each other interesting articles. It’s not perfect; but then, neither of us is perfect, either. And she is pretty awesome.
- Alina Kanaski